The Story Behind the Story

When I was four years old my family installed this new box in our house called "Cable Television." I had never seen anything like it. The picture was clear, there were no commercials during films, and most off all, people swore and women were naked. I became obsessed with films, especially the making of films. I was amazed by the process of filmmaking. Imagine a four year old watching the behind the scenes documentary of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.

For the next 17 years I would continue my love of film. I had wanted to go to film school, but really had no ambition to do anything. I was your typical everyday Slacker, a "C student" with the occasional B or D. I eventually decided to go to Seton Hall University only because I had been recruited to wrestle. I studied art because I could draw and I didn't want to study.

In 1998, I was getting ready to enter the last semester of my fourth year at Seton Hall. Notice I didn't say "Graduate." I was on the 4.5 year plan. As I got closer to graduation, I started to look around for some fun electives to take. I noticed a class entitled "Film Production." I thought the class would be about the business end of filmmaking. I had wanted to take a class called "Film Appreciation" where we would sit around and watch films all day, but it was already full. When I got to the "Film Production" class, I realized it was an advanced filmmaking class and was asked by the teacher if I would be able to handle the work. I stuck with the class and did very well. I returned the next year and started to take as many film classes as I could. I even took classes I wasn't in. I would just show up and do the work.

When I graduated, I continued to study film production and screen writing on my own. I read every book I could get my hands on. In the spring of 1999, I wrote my first feature length screenplay entitled Executing Love. It was a dark romantic comedy I wrote deliberately to be directed by myself. It included characters that could be played by friends, locations that I had access to, and a story that was relatively easy to shoot.

By the summer of 2000, I had had it with the Advertising Agency I was working at and decided to shoot my film. I based my actions/steps on a book I had read by Robert Rodriguez entitled Rebel Without a Crew. It was an autobiographical account of Rodriguez's attempt to make his film EL MARIACHI. The film was recognized by the film industry as a break through in Independent Cinema. Rodriguez had shot the film for $7000 by himself, and sold it to Hollywood for around 1 million. I would use his book as a guide to make my film. That book, would fail me.

I set out to shoot a 95 page script in 6 six days, I rented equipment I could not afford, and I hired people (friends) who could not act. This was my FAILURE.

Looking back now, I realize I was trying to prove to myself that I could not be a filmmaker. I needed to fail before I could move on and live the "Normal Life." A day or so after my film career ended, I had an idea. Why not turn my failed attempt into a documentary? Why not tell the story of a person trying to achieve a life-long dream and watch it fall apart? This film would become FAILURE.